Problems are for Solving

I wrote this Sunday night when the blog was down:

I pulled out my iPod tonight to listen to some music. I don’t do that often—of the 1GB that’s usually 90% full on the Nano, 85% of it is lectures, interviews, podcasts—and usually between one and three albums. I don’t listen to music very often.

I’ve been putting albums on that I own but haven’t listened to much. Tonight was Kingdom Come by Charlie Peacock.
I heard a song that made me cry.

Cheer Up Church is a song that I am guessing is written about Spurgeon—but I’m not sure and couldn’t find out for certain on line. It’s very short.

His was a voice fueled by truth
He spoke to us of God’s grace
In a way that we could understand and take hold of

His was a life defined by grace
For a time and for a reason
And so we bow and give thanks to God
For the life of our brother

It’s just like God to make a hero from a sinner
It’s just like God to choose the loser, not the winner
It’s just like God to tell a story through the weak
To let the Gospel speak through the life of a man
Who’ll be the first to say

“Cheer up, Church
You’re worse off than you think
Cheer up, Church
You’re standing at the brink
Don’t despair
Do not fear
Grace is near”

I listened to it several times and then again with my wife. I cried every time.

I have been having some ups and downs lately. Struggling with my heart, my life, feeling overwhelmed and alone.

I haven’t had an easy time grappling with all of it.

I realized that I have to give up and understand I can’t do it in order to do anything. Because I can’t do anything.

I think that’s what God has been trying to teach me for a few weeks–that I’m trying too hard. And I have nothing to try with, and so that’s why I feel like there’s nothing left. And what He wants is for me to lean on Him and His strength. As Paul said, “when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I am so filled with pride that I forget that all to often. May God give me the grace to remember it every moment.

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