Apr 28 2006
Family are “non-people”? too . . . only more so
Earlier this week I wrote about people and “non-people” and alluded to writing again about “family.”?
Last night we had the Ben-Ezras over for dinner. We try to do this every week because the Ben-Ezras are not only “non-people”? but they’re “family.”? We decided when the Ben-Ezras moved here in 2002 that we would need to reach out to them since they were moving so far away from their family in Pennsylvania. There is more to this story, but the Ben-Ezra family and I go back quite a ways and their father was my pastor and mentor and is still a dear friend.
“Family”? are friends and family around whom you can totally be yourself without fear that they’ll hate you tomorrow. When they arrive for dinner and ask if they can do anything you’ll feel free without the slightest hesitation to ask one of them to sweep the dining room while reminding her that the last time (or was it 10 times ago?) she swept your dining room (while over for dinner) the broom suddenly broke in her hands.
Last night was, as it always is, a treat. We feasted around the dining room table. The children (except Moriah and Noah who are 10 and 2 respectively) ate on the porch since it was so nice and we enjoyed a slightly quieter dinner than normal, but no less interrupted. Gabrielle’s account gives a good picture of what the evening looked like, but I want to hone in on a couple of things she left out.
With “family”? there is no stress. No masks. No forced conversation. All flows, even when interrupted and when multiple conversations go on at once. We are truly ourselves when we are around “family.”?
We can be truly ourselves because they already know who we are and they love us anyway. Every week I realize that I know the people around this particular family gathering better than I thought I knew them, and better than the week before.
Last night we had a discussion of NDS (Noun Deficiency Syndrome) which afflicts nearly 100% of parents and adults who spend large amounts of time around children. Why is this universal, that even those of us who talk to TV cameras for national television or get up in front of thousands of people without an accelerated heartbeat turn into blithering idiots when speaking to children?
“Move the thing! And . . . the other thing!”?
And knowing one another means we can in jest call the person who tries to make fun of the joke in order to cover up the embarrassment of not recognizing that quote from The Princess Bride. Because only in a group such as this would one even be tempted to be embarrassed at missing a quote from The Princess Bride and only in a group such as this would one be able to laugh when called on the embarrassment.
“Family”? love one another. Period.
And the relaxed feeling at supper with “family”? comes from the knowledge deep down in our hearts that no matter how stupid I am tonight or any night they will come back and it will be a joy still. And that knowledge comes from knowing that our Father, our true family in heaven, and these dear friends we call “family”? love us not because of who we are or how we act.
They simply love us. Not because, or for, or through or beside anything. They love us. Period.
